Know Us

Evan Bernstein, 30, is an artist best known for his provocative explorations of the human condition, producing stunning photographic works including Friends Hanging Out at the Beach and Sophia Sitting on the Couch With Her Phone. Beyond the visual medium, Bernstein is a prolific and celebrated author. His groundbreaking shorty story about an orphan romance is pending publication.

In his free time, Evan enjoys spending time inside where it's safe. 

In addition to his artistic accomplishments, Evan is a successful entrepreneur. He is the co-founder of the tech startup ThotRoster, and has had many great business ideas including What if there was a dating app for hooligans and Device that mines crypto but uses the excess heat to make soup.

Evan would like to dedicate this performance to all the haters out there who said he couldn't make it in this town. Well guess what, freaks? He's still here. And where are you? That's right. Fucking nowhere. Fucking Lancaster fucking nowhere with your stupid truck and your ugly baby. He hopes you're happy with the choices you've made. He hopes you're thriving. Really thriving.

Tobias Mickelson, 30, was born to two impoverished asbestos miners (or something gross, I guess it's never really come up in conversation), in a dumpster during a hurricane.  The hurricane was miles away in Florida, and he was born in New Mexico so at least there's that. From these humble beginnings, he rose to prominence in his field, until the baseball coach and players came and made him leave the field so they could practice.

He attended the School of Visual Arts of New York under a scholarship for the deliciously thick. He graduated top of his class, with coveted artist distinctions like: "Most cigarettes smoked while talking about Paul Thomas Anderson" and "Most likely to crash a Bris"

His body of work has been the subject of many lauded gallery shows, critical acclaims, and class action lawsuits. His painted works: Moonlight Over the Office Max and Still Life with Wildflowers and Gary Busey hang in the Metropolitan Museum of Art's... employee restroom handicap stall, where they cover a stain also left by the artist (on a separate occasion).  

Les Trentes represents a career low, and a heinous misappropriation of the last 10 remaining dollars in NEA grants, for any art ever maybe. 

Tobias dedicates this work in memory and awareness of the stolen land this art sits on, and the brave cowboys with their cool guns that worked so hard to steal it.